Thursday, December 23, 2010

Is Mannekin's Pis(s) hot?

Beep Beep...Beep Beep... Eyes red as blood, From a deep sleep I jolted out of my bed to see my Mobile flashing light at my sleep deprived eyes.A message @ 3 AM in the morning.I was gonna kill this person unless this message was something important.I opened and read the message with a pouty look on my face.

My face brightened.I always knew, an idea was a greater monument than a cathedral.But the kind of idea that this message planted in my brain was so awesome that, 'Inception' was immediate.What Christopher Nolan achieved with a $200 million dollar movie,this simple SMS, did absolutely free of cost.

When I was traveling in Belgium I came across this statue of a boy standing stark naked,holding his pee-wee and peeing into a fountain's basin.Legend has it that, this statue was put up there in remembrance of a young boy who was awoken by a fire and was able to put out the fire with his urine, in the end this helped stop the king's castle from burning down.

On occasion, the statue is hooked up to a keg of beer. Cups will be filled up with the beer flowing from the statue and given out to people passing by.Phallic Beer ?!?!?! Sounds cool? As long as it is cold beer, Mannekin and Heineken sounds similar.At least to me, they do.

The beer in the glass, was supposed to be of the same temperature as it was, when drawn into the statue from the keg.The Mannekin Pis being a bronze statue is able to maintain the temperature of the beer all through the urinal track of the boy and into the beer glass.Astonishing.

The point that aroused my curiosity later that night when I woke up reading the untimely message was this.

The message read, "Even if you are gonna drink ice cold water, you are gonna pee hot".

Water is essential for survival of life. The water we take washes and cleans our body and comes out as urine.Blah Blah Blah Blaah!!!! I knew all this.

With 12 years of my school education, 4 years of an engineering education and a 4 soporific long years at Software companies, I was not able reason out this message.I was stumped.
Simple but strong message I would say.It took me 3 long hours of surfing, to reason this out.Google,wikipedia,How stuffs work?!?!?,e-bay.com...

Everything boils down to this...
"Urine is hot because it is stored in the body, which has an average temperature of about 98.6 degrees. By the time the urine leaves the body, it is still hot because of the high body temperature"

What is the use of being a 'cool' guy if you drink ice cold water and pee hot?!?!
 I aint cool anymore :(

Friday, December 17, 2010

The tower of Babel - chapter 1

For the want of money,your conscience was killed
For the want of love,the money was burnt
For the want of power,my love was lynched
For the want of eternity,the gods lost their power.

The tower of Babel's, interior walls of the antechambers, were chock-full of paintings and drawings.The gods looked at in awe, for it had shown all the divine niceties and the dark fantasies of men.The gods had no choice but to burn it down just to prove their power and arrogance.They were not extremely successful.The pieces
flung in all the directions and the places where the debris fell, became the breeding grounds for new cultures.To name a few, The Hosier lane,Queens- New York,Zurich,Venice Graffiti pit,Topiel street- Warsaw...

"For the want of money,your conscience was killed"

He was delightfully and dedicatedly rotten in the matters of viewing things straight. He always felt people... people around him, start thinking in agitated wonderment at what they must have  done to deserve a guy like him.

Talks of rapprochement with his wife had gone in vain.She never believed him after the day he told her that he never really loved her and that he married her just for her dad's money.Later she also came to know he had an affair with another woman. He understood people as long as they spoke money.

"For the want of love,the money was burnt"


They never understood the spawning concepts of Evolution.They were actually one.The master and his alter ego.The alter ego, was a figment of his master's imagination and the master never knew he existed.

He wanted to write a book.He had a story that would make him a billionaire, overnight.He knew he would be very famous if he completes this book.A story so powerful,it could alter the winds of the current political situation.All he was waiting for, was an opening line for the book.

He had always felt that the opening line of a book had the power to, glue the readers to your book, or to dump it.He had a list of options that he managed to pull out from few books.He wanted his 'opening line' to be eclectic rather than original.

"Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun."
- Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"It was a pleasure to burn."
- Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

"I was born in the Year 1632, in the City of York, of a good Family, tho' not of that Country, my Father being a Foreigner of Bremen, who settled first at Hull"
Daniel Defoe, Robinson Crusoe

"Achilles' cursed anger sing, O goddess, that son of Peleus, which stated a myriad sufferings for the Achaeans."- Homer, The Iliad



He knew that the starting line for his book would be a combination of all these lines.But how?

"For the want of power,my love was lynched"


I had my drink,paid the bill and came out of the pub.When I was about to enter the elevator,something caught my attention.

She was insanely beautiful when I saw her for the second time.But she was not the same.She had Changed a lot.Her horizons were a lot more vibrant than they used to be.She was sitting alone in the huge vestibule of the hotel reading the "Hypnerotomachia Poliphili".She was not wearing any of those extravagant jewels or clothes,but something that was missing in her face made her very conspicuous.I gave a stilted glance ,ducked my way through the crowd and went near her.She looked up at me and her face turned gloomy.

What on the earth was she doing there with a "Hypnerotomachia Poliphili" in her hand.Had she gone mad?

Friday, May 07, 2010

More sins and desperation

The tower of Babel:

He went to the pub straight from work. This time he was carrying a bottle of wine Blanche with him. Before he could enter the pub, he was stopped by the bouncer.

"Sorry sir! You cannot take the bottle in", said the bouncer, with "I-don’t-care-who-you-are" attitude.
"It’s just a bottle of wine and am not gonna drink it in there", I retaliated with "I-know-you-don’t-care-who-I-am-and-neither-do-I" tone.
"Ya! I do understand .But we do not allow liquor from outside”, shot back the bouncer with "you-better-understand-our-rules-and-do-what-I-say" looks.
"Ok,Then do me a favor.Can you have this bottle with you somewhere so that I can have my drink, come back and take it ?" I inquired with "at-least-do-this-and-better-think-twice-before-you-say-no" tone.
"Sure Sir! We can do that”, he asserted with "this-is-supposed-to-be-a-pub-not-some-locker-room" looks.
"But please be careful with the bottle. It’s a very expensive French wine", I enounced with "Now-you-better-understand-who-I-am" tone.
"Don’t worry Sir. We will take care." he revealed with "w-t-f???" expression.

Meanwhile, in the dark, a train was delineating its way towards the city. The train was crowded and she was sitting near the window. With her black windcheater...err...That was not a windcheater.Who is gonna wear one in India, that too in Chennai, in the month of May. It was a chudidhar.

She was pressing the phone against her ears and was whispering something. She was smiling. The curve of her lips offered a lot of interesting angles as she was whispering into the phone. He was standing near the door watching her with a stern look. He knew that she knew he was looking at her. Still a long way to go. He could not resist the temptation of staring at her.

At the far end of the city, the night was dreadfully calm. She was sitting in the garden with her eyes closed. She had signed the divorce papers and it has been almost a year since she did that. But still she was not able to erase him completely from her mind.

One night, he was lying on the bed watching her get undressed. She changed to her night dress and came near him. She caressed his hair and bent forward to kiss him.

"I want you badly" he said with a romantic intonation.

After knowing he had had another affair with a woman at his workplace, she was shaken to the roots. She used to admire him a lot and she had loved him more than anything in this world. Their 8 year old daughter still knows nothing about what has been going on in her mother’s mind.

She walked out on him with their daughter, came to Chennai and started a new life. She got a good job with a very good pay.

A Very attractive, confident, independent, young, funny, patient, level headed and intellectually stunning lady.

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step”. When people started building the tower of Babel, the Lord came down and confound the language of all the earth, and from thence he scattered them abroad upon the face of all the earth.

To be continued…